Whether it’s a Buzzfeed article, a celebrity tweet, or a politician’s lie, the word “outraged” has been so overused I’m not particularly sure what it means anymore. I can only remember being outraged twice:
- When a dude who thought he was “down” enough to call me “nigger,” did so while giggling on an elevator filled with his drunk white friends, then tried to calm me down by explaining that he can say it because he’s half Puerto Rican.
- When Thelma married Ebae on “Good Times.”
Other than those two times, I may have felt disgust, anger or shock–but rarely genuine outrage. Nowadays there is a perpetual outrage machine churning out consternation over weak, silly out-of context quotes, Donald Trump speeches and made-up groupthink lunacy like “microagressions” and lack of “safe spaces.” As a public service, we have found some real things that should give cause for actual outrage instead of the side-eye “aight…” most most things really deserve.
Voting – While Black America is bullshitting around uselessly protesting at Donald Trump rallies, no one seems to be have thrown one chair through a window in the three years since the Shelby County v Holder Supreme Court case stripped down the voting rights act. Since then, most of the red states have enacted restrictive voting laws designed to reduce minority and poor people from voting but the knots in the collective stomachs of Black people come from whether Beyonce is going to release an album befor eshe launches her tour that you paid $12,028.74 for 18th row seats. If outrage was a real thing we would be throwing Molotov cocktails for stripping away the one tangible thing the civil rights movement achieved.
Watching the pundits on cable news talk about the “Electoral map,” “Superdelegates” and party conventions is a real reason for outrage. You should want to throw a brick through your television every time you think about that Tuesday you rushed to the polls during your lunchtime, stood in that hot, long line waiting to vote only to find out they’re not really counting your vote. You should be outraged that you’re not really voting for a candidate–you’re voting for a delegate who will hopefully choose the candidate you like. That if you are Black and in the South voting for a Democratic President, your vote probably won’t factor in. That you live in gerrymandered districts concocted to preserve predictable vote patterns. That you can pay your taxes, get your license, birth certificate, social security card, food, medicine and even bank on the internet–but not cast your vote. That there are thousands of variations of voting machines, and they are all flawed. That you don’t get a receipt when you vote so there is no way to independently check if vote counts are correct.
But you can still Instagram your “I voted” sticker, so…
Unsolicited Dick Pics – One of the biggest surprises of my life was the recent revelation to me about how many women receive unrequested pictures of men’s penises. Maybe I am just naive, but I was floored to discover that there are guys texting photos of their manpoles to random women. Here’s why you should be outraged–If I surreptitiously went to a secluded place to pee because there was no bathroom, and a cop spotted me–I would be arrested for indecent exposure. Lemme get this straight–I have the maturity and decorum to not snapchat my sex sausage to unwitting women, but if I pee outside, I have to register as a sexual predator? That’s bullshit!
Women should be furious too, because if a guy waited for you in a dark parking lot and flashed his Woody wombpecker at you–that’s sexual assault… but I bet y’all saved the picture. For evidence, right?
Single men should really be outraged. There was once a time in the not-so-distant past (like, up until 1998) when women could only compare your penis with those from her mental Rolodex. Apparently now, every woman has an Encyclopedia Brittanica-like menagerie of dick pics in her from every man she has ever smiled at. What should increase the outrage for men about the disgusting, narcissistic, egomaniacal practice of sending nude pictures to someone who you don’t even know is…
Why don’t more women do it?
Preachers – If my preacher drove a Mercedes-Benz I’d bust the windows out of his car every church service. Despite all the talk of economic empowerment in the Black community, there is one group of people who benefit from the hard work and faith of Black people – your church pastor. There is no other profession where groups of people allow untrained, uneducated people to teach and lead while throwing money at said person to do it! Preachers, priests and rabbis stem from a time when the congregations were mostly illiterate and religious texts were in multiple languages that couldn’t be deciphered. Since 1980 Black communities have given over 400 million to churches. That is more than the endowment of Harvard–but not one college has been built. That’s enough to pay for a free hospital in every state in the US. That is enough to build a multi-national banking and lending institution that caters to lending money for homes, businesses, programs and student loans to people of color. The next time you see a preacher you should punch him in the mouth for bloodsucking the possibility of independence from Black communities.
Those fucking parasites got me mad just typing this.
Real Housewives – This phenomena has gone too far. The images of Black women catfighting on the couches of “reunion shows” are just as dangerous as the perpetual thug imagery that haunt young Black men and instill so much fear that white women’s hearts race when they see us in parking lots and cops shoot us for reaching for wallets. Mercedes-Benz will not allow villains in movies to drive their cars because they don’t want the negative association, but every other show on Bravo has a Black woman boasting Brazilian hair and flawless contoured makeup screaming “Bitch” at another sister for ginned up controversy, but that’s not what should outrage you.
Nor should you be outraged at how the sensible-acting sistas are replaced with jigaboo-stuntwomen every season…
Not should you be mad at the normalcy of the lifestyles of people who live in financial and sexual excess and portray it as “success.”
What you should really be mad at is the fact that it is mostly scripted, all of the homes are leased and rented as tax-free “television sets, and most of the women are single, which means these motherfuckers are not “real,” few of them have houses, and none of them are wives.