Entertainment & Culture
Are You an “Angry Black?”

By Michael Harriot

Yesterday we were once again awash in white tears when the collective Caucasianary’s head exploded because Beyonce performed at the Country Music Awards. never mind that she actually had a country song on an album that probably sold more than all of the other artists there combined (You might want to fact check that statement, because rednecks still go to Walmart and buy CD’s so they might be the last remnant of society who actually purchases music). In their heads it wasn’t because of racism or style of music that made Queen Bey’s appearance inappropriate. It was because she stood against everything Country Music believes in: Police. America. The Troops. Jesus. Ever since the Super Bowl halftime performance and the subsequent release of Lemonade, suburban America (spelled W. H. I. T. E. P. E. O. P. L. E. ) have painted ‘Yonce as a rabble-rousing Black Panther crooning about killing cops and loving “negro noses.”

Anyway, during the chorus of caucasians in cowboy hats and snakeskin boots whining, one commenter asked “When did Beyonce go from pop star to Angry Black Woman?” Ha. Beyonce–an angry Black woman.

How the fuck, America?

She literally sings and dances every day–which is the exact opposite of “angry.”

But it got me to thinking: Am I an “angry Black?” Are you? Well now we have a scientific way to find out. Take this quiz to see where you stand on the White scale of angry negroes.

Good Luck and god bless:

Click the button below to start quiz

Are You an "Angry Black?"

Use this quiz to determine where you stand on the White people richter scale of negro belligerence. Take the results of this quiz, and print them out to show your white friends. Depending on your score, you might be able to use it to get disinvited to White barbecues, saving yourself from an afternoon of unseasoned chicken and potato salad with weird ingredients like cranberries or pomegranate seeds. Alternately, a low score might get you a formal invitation to serve as the Black friend they are talking about when they say “some of my best friends are Black.” Use accordingly.




About the author

Michael Harriot is a renowned spoken word poet, the host of The Black One podcast and the editor-in-chief of NegusWhoRead. He is perpetually just getting warmed up because he has no chill. He is on Instagram and twitter as @michaelharriot

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