Fuckboys. They are the bane of all of our existence.
Men can’t stand them because they make other women think that all men have fuckboy tendencies. Women can’t stand them because–well, they’re fuckboys. There are so many definitions of fuckboy that one may get confused, but at NegusWhoRead, we adhere to the philosophy of the all-encompassing fuckboy definition found in Urban dictionary:
Fuckboy: (n) A weak-ass pussy who ain’t about shit.
The problem with Fuckboy is that it spreads. If you know a fuckboy, you should stay away from him because it is extremely contagious. Fuckboyness is sexually transmitted, and if you sleep with a fuckboy one time you can end up infected, and believe me–you don’t want that. Even though fuckboy-itis isn’t fatal, it is very difficult to get rid of. And it is hard to detect until it is too late. You could end up trapped in a neverendiing cycle of douchebaggery and bitchassness for years, until you finally find the cure.
The first recorded case of of the syndrome was found in 1823, when a slave named Samuel Bouregard Louis (called light-skinned Sammy) convinced his master to sell another slave called Mandingo Jesse so Sammy wouldn’t have any competition in the slave quarters when he tried to holla at women. Since then, niggas named Chase and Leon have been on some fuckboy shit.
Maybe you have fuckboy symptoms and don’t realize it. Maybe you are dating someone with full-blown fuckboy and haven’t discovered it yet. Well, NegusWhoRead is here for you. Take this quiz and discover if you are entangled in the fuckboyletry, or are infected yourself.
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About the author
Michael Harriot
Michael Harriot is a renowned spoken word poet, the host of The Black One podcast and the editor-in-chief of NegusWhoRead. He is perpetually just getting warmed up because he has no chill. He is on Instagram and twitter as @michaelharriot
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