The Greatest Hip Hop Beef of All Time Is Shaping Up Right Before Our Eyes

Last weekend, the rap world stood in awe and screamed “WORLD STAR” as one of the greatest beefs of all time started coming together.

There is now unprecedented shade about fake body parts, cocaine use, cheating, ghostwriters, no sex and even abusing innocent white girls while ignoring tougher thugs with real street cred. Everyone knew this controversy was only popular because the person who started it was on a ratchet reality show, but we still took notice, because it was so good. It is what hip hop beefs are made of.

Remy Ma vs Nicki Minaj?

Hell no! I’m talking about Donald Trump vs Barack Obama!

We all know that the jet-flying, bottle popping, pussy-grabbing, gold-plating thug who talks about how he will bust his guns and take out his enemies is really a gangsta rapper disguised as the commander-in-chief. A couple of days ago the Russian sex slave we call President Trump accused Barack Obama of tapping his phones, a charge much more serious than when 50 Cent accused Ja Rule of being a snitch. Or when 50 Cent accused Rick Ross of being the Feds. Or when 50 Cent accused The Game of… come to think of it, everyone who has a problem with Fiddy is painted as the po-po. I bet he will soon call Taraji P. Henson an undercover cop.

Anyway, Trump went on twitter to proclaim that Barack Obama tapped his phone and now He has to stay fresh as hell because “the feds watching.”

Obama didn’t like that.

Yes, the guy with the most swagger, and so many dope lyrics he once dropped the mic to make sure it’s broke is in the studio ready to blast back at his haters, immediately went in the studio to clap back. I’m not sure if DJ Khaled is producing, but Sasha and Malia could be heard in the studio screaming “we da best!”

Unlike Nicki, Barack Obama knows that what Trump said isn’t true. In case you’re wondering what will happen next, NegusWhoRead has obtained a copy of the unmastered copy of Barack Obama’s clapback mixtape, and here are the track listings:

1. Orange Ain’t The New Black President B. Rock O. goes off about how Trump can never be as good as he was.

2. Russian Hit’em Up A message to Jeff Sessions, Jared Kushner and Michael Flynn about their Friends and Family list that has only Soviet numbers

3.  Lemonade Part II (ft. R. Kelly) A love song about golden showers.

4. Xenophobes in Different Area Codes Stop hating on the Muslims, Jews, Mexicans and all the other immigrants.

5. Is That Your B*tch ft Michelle Obama Michelle goes off about how Melania stole her words, can barely speak English, and doesn’t want to sleep in the White House.

6. Stolen Dreams featuring Hillary Clinton Hillary tries to rap, but she mostly just cries on the track and reminds everyone that she won the popular vote.

7. Miss Me Yet? A letter from Barack Obama asking if we missed him yet (this one made me cry).

8. I Told Y’all ft Bernie Sanders He mostly rambles off beat about income inequality.

9. TWITTether the first diss song where each verse is 140 characters or less.

10. Parents Just Do Understand ft Sasha Fiercer and Malia the Magnificent The Obama kids take shots at Ivanka, Eric and Don Jr’s parents, hairlines and  lack of chin definition

11. Girl do you want me to get my belt? ft Marian Shields Robinson Michelle Obama’s mother threatens KellyAnne Conway for putting her feet on the couch.

The mixtape is scheduled to be exclusively released on Tidal, so you’ll probably never hear it.

About the author

Michael Harriot is a renowned spoken word poet, the host of The Black One podcast and the editor-in-chief of NegusWhoRead. He is perpetually just getting warmed up because he has no chill. He is on Instagram and twitter as @michaelharriot

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