Warning: The following article contains sarcasm, metaphor and analogy. If you are not equipped to handle these tools, please stop now.
By Michael Harriot
Because of recent events, many Americans have begun to categorize the Black Lives Matter movement as a “terrorist organization” and hate group who is racist against White people (yeah… “racism against white people.” That’s actually a thing they believe). While we focus so much attention on #BlackLivesMatter, there is a similar group who uses the same offensive, despicable practices as BLM, who everyone seems to love and no one ever seems to point out. Instead, they, like the BlackLivesMatter movement exist in a shadowy realm of prejudice and discrimination. Luckily, NegusWhoRead is here to expose their nefarious deeds.
We will no longer stand silent while these fearmongers use the tactics of hate and separation to advance their terrible agenda. I’m sure you know them. You’ve probably even given money to this terrorist organization under the guise that you were helping. But you were giving to a group who BlackLivesMatter probably stole their entire discriminatory strategy from. If you don’t know which hate group I’m talking about, it is:
The Susan G. Komen Fund for Breast Cancer Research.
You’re probably thinking “this nigga tripping…” Unless you’re white, in which case you’re either thinking:
“This African-American is tripping,”
or “This nigger is tripping.”
But I’m not. I peep game. I #staywoke. If Black Lives Matter is a hate group, terrorist, anti-cop organization, then we should apply the same logic universally, and I suggest we start with the Susan G. Komen Fund. Those white girls can’t fool my third eye with their ballet flats and pink ribbons.
If it is racist to focus only on Black victims of state violence, then it’s wrong (or maybe cancerist) to just focus on breast cancer. Even though 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer, Susan G Komen is wrong to focus on one kind of deadly disease. What about prostate cancer? Is one penis worth less than two titties? That’s anti-male!
And I know what you’re thinking: “Fuck Men!” They have it made anyway. They control everything. They’re always in charge. Why should anyone feel sorry for them? That’s not anti-man, I’m just focusing on the cure right now!”
But if anyone voiced those opinions about police officers, we’d consider them anti cop. That’s what I’m trying to tell y’all. This breast cancer bullshit is just like ISIS and the Klan rolled up into one!
And when they focus on cancer, why don’t they focus on the stuff women do to their own bodies, like smoking and eating Piggly Wiggly hot dogs? We know they cause cancer. The World Health Organization says processed meats like bacon and hot dogs are carcinogens, and we know what smoking does, but no one in Susan G Komen’s organization wants to address woman-on-woman cancer. They want to blame it all on cancerous cells that replicate “aggressively.” That’s what they always do, blame it on the cancer. The truth is much more complex. The way biology is set up, cells have to replicate, and sometimes there will be some that are cancerous that will kill you.
But my problem with the Susan G Komen Foundation is that they only talk about the cancerous cells. What about the good cells? What about the cells that give you hair and fingernails? Why doesn’t anyone ever mention those cells? those are the cells who keep you alive. The vast majority of cells are good cells. Focusing on the cancerous one is just a bunch of liberal, victimization, crybaby bullshit.
I mean, why focus on cancer cells at all? Those Breast Cancer bullshit artists don’t want to take responsibility for anything. It’s their culture. They live in a world where they want to blame others for their cancer instead of the people who raised them. It is not anyone else’s fault. Face it, cancer is genetic. That’s how they were born. It’s their culture. Yet those racists want to guilt us into marching with them.
I don’t have to worry about getting breast cancer, and nor will my kids, because we don’t have that gene in our blood. But even if I did, you know what I’d do?
I’d chop mine off.
That’s right. I’d erase every trace of titty from my chest even if I didn’t have it, because I pull myself up by brastraps. That’s why I have no compassion for anyone who dies from cancer. They always had the option of a double mastectomy at the age of 13, so anyone who gets breast cancer was asking for it. But you won’t hear that in the mainstream media, because they all have a liberal bias.
Just like Black Lives Matter, Susan G Komen adherents use traffic-based tactics to strong arm people into noticing their agenda. You probably think that the “Race for the Cure” is an annual event, but I swear I see people in pink leggings walking at least five or six times a year. Why do they hate traffic so much, anyway? And what does walking have to do with anything? Why do I have to you for how many miles you walk? What if you go Forest Gump on me and walk for 2 years? I ain’t trying to go bankrupt because you drank 3 Red Bulls and walked to San Diego.
And why pink? I’ll tell you why:
So they can look less intimidating.
When the angry-looking, dashiki-wearing Black Lives Matter people block a road or bridge, everyone gets mad, but they serenely sit in traffic and dream of titty-fucking (is that still a thing?) when the breast cancer lobbyist do it, yet they are one and the same.
So wake up, my people and realize who the real terrorists are. I know they say they are simply looking for ways to solve a problem and stop needless deaths. I know your innocent mind probably thinks that being in support of a group of people who are suffering unfairly in’t “anti” anything. You probably believe that intelligent people can be for one thing without being against another. You might even have the stupid idea that the universe is nuanced and rarely can be bissected into clear groups of black and white…
They are a hate group. If they weren’t anti-cancer, they would look at all the things that can damage the body. Malaria has killed half the people who ever lived. Why isn’t Susan G Komen focusing on that?
Why aren’t they marching against the flu? Or heart attacks? Or hoverboards? Or ban white people from buying GoPros (according to a source I am making up as I type this, in 2012 37.2% of all white people who died in extreme sporting accidents were wearing a GoPro camera.)
I’ll tell you why.
Because they are a hate group, that’s why.
Or maybe Black Lives Matter has just been doing it wrong. Perhaps instead of asking for justice for dead dark-skinned boys and girls, and affirming that Black bodies have as much value as anyone else’s…
Maybe they just needs some ribbons.
Stay woke, Black people