Sex & Relationships
Will You Get A Valentines Day Present? A Quiz

Valentines Day is quickly approaching and–while some people think of it as a conspiracy between chocolate industry, the flower companies, and the condom manufacturers–many people have their fingers crossed wondering if they’ll get a Valentines Day present or not.

And don’t act like you don’t care. Everybody likes gifts (unless you live in the city of Troy or Bill Cosby bought you a glass of wine). Valentines Day gifts make us feel loved and wanted–and who doesn’t like that? As a matter of fact, masturbating on Valentines Day might be the second-saddest activity of all time (buying underwear from the Dollar Tree still ranks as number one).

There are a lot of us who don’t know whether or not they will receive a Valentines Day gift or not. It has nothing to do with your relationship status. Sometimes married people don’t get gifts while the really fine girl who works in accounting but says she is single receives 11 bouquets of flowers every V-Day. It has nothing to do with looks because we all know a guy with the IQ of a squirrel who has women galore. It really is a crap shoot.

To prepare for that day, we at NegusWhoRead have created a quiz that will let you know if you are one of the lucky ones who will be showered with gifts on February 14th, or if you will be home in your sweatpants eating ice cream.

Take it and see for yourself!

Click below to start!

Welcome to your Quiz. Click on the button to begin

1) How would you describe your relationship status?
2) If you are with someone, how long have you two been together
3) Are you only seeing one person?
4) In the days the last 30 days you have:
(Check all that apply)
5) When was the last time you had sex?
6) On Valentines Day your underwear will be
7) Did you get a Valentines Day gift last year?
8) Did he/she buy you a Christmas gift?
9) If you don't get a present you will
10) Are you a side piece?
11) Will you buy your significant other a gift?
12) The last time they bought you a gift, you:
13) I am:

About the author

Michael Harriot is a renowned spoken word poet, the host of The Black One podcast and the editor-in-chief of NegusWhoRead. He is perpetually just getting warmed up because he has no chill. He is on Instagram and twitter as @michaelharriot

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